The illusion of control

Have you ever wondered why we spend so much time and effort on trying to control the circumstances around us to influence the outcome we desire? It may be based on our basic need for stability and security in our lives. Yet there is so little that we have any control over. The rest is just the illusion of control. When the outcome is different from what we had hoped for, we tend to either berate ourselves or ruminate on how we should have done things differently. Another approach can be to release the outcome reminding ourselves that it is either what we hoped for or something even better. This approach reduces the stress we experience and allows us to focus our attention on other matters. Think of a situation you wanted to change and whether your efforts to do so affected it. How did the outcome reflect those efforts? Perhaps you wanted to remain in a relationship that was not in your best interest in the long run. You did everything you could to make it work, but ultimately it ended. Had you let it progress without that effort, you might have been open to meeting someone who was a better match for you. Letting go of control requires that you trust that you will be given what you need, not necessarily in what you want. There is a difference. What was the last situation you tried to control and how did that work for you?