You make me...

“You make me so angry.” “You make me so happy.” “You make me feel ashamed.” Sound familiar? The truth is that no one can make you feel any way. Our feelings are a reaction to an event. They are often conditioned by similar situations from our past. They come from within with external events acting as triggers. The more we accept this, the more we can take responsibility for our response to those triggers. Be willing to identify what it is that stirs the anger, the happiness, or the shame within you. Does the anger come from your inability to ask for what you need? Does your happiness come from your desire to be connected to others and the world around you? Does your shame come from wanting to please others? The same process holds true for any feeling you are experiencing. Once you have an answer to your question, the next step is to ask yourself what you could do to take action to ask for what you need, for a sense of connection that brings joy, or to engage with someone else without sacrificing your own needs. Again this works with all your feelings. How can you reframe your “You make me” statements with self-caring actions?