A friend in need

A key element of friendship is being available to others when they are going through difficult times. Most often all we need do is be there to listen or offer a hug. When a friend had to put her dog down, I spent several hours with her afterwards talking about how difficult a decision this was. It was important to be in the moment with her emotions. Being a dog owner myself, the experience brought up many of my own feelings around such a loss. This was helpful in empathizing with her without making it about me. At the same time I was offering long distance support to a friend whose brother had suddenly passed away in another state. It was a reminder of how painful it can be to lose someone we love and care for. This was not the time for platitudes such as "Your dog (or family member) is in a better place" or "I know how you feel." It also reminded me of how my own friends had been there for me in times of loss. This is an opportunity to connect with one another at a deeper level knowing that the physical presence of a person or pet has passed. It isn't always comfortable to go through, but it is much appreciated by the person who is grieving. It tells us that we are not alone in our journey. We know that, as time passes, the emotional pain lessens. Hopefully the pain that we feel is balanced by the warm memories we have of our relationship with that person or pet. Think of how you deal with loss and how you can be there for others during these times. What can you offer that will let them know that you are present for them?